Sarah Silverman's 2016 Democratic National Convention Speech

Sarah Silverman delivered a speech along with Al Franken at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia on 25 July 2016.

Transcript
FRANKEN: Remember me? I'm Senator Al Franken, and this– this past year, I've been #ImWithHer.

SILVERMAN: And I'm Sarah Silverman, and this past year, I've been Feeling the Bern. Relax: I put some cream on it.

FRANKEN: What'd you say?

SILVERMAN: I said I put some cream on it.

FRANKEN: You see, Sarah's a comedian, so she gets the joke, and I'm the politician now, so I get to make what's known as an "ask." But– but trust me: it's a good ask. You see, if you go to HillaryClinton.com before midnight tonight and join the team, you can be not just #ImWithHer in spirit, but #ImWithHer literally. As in: you could win a trip to Philadelphia to be here on Thursday night when Hillary accepts the nomination.

SILVERMAN: Really good.

FRANKEN: See, Sarah? That's– that's even more fun than getting– getting to get the joke.

SILVERMAN: Oh, Al: you still got it.

FRANKEN: Oh...

SILVERMAN: Well, uh, while we're on the subject: can I make my speech now?

FRANKEN: Oh, absolutely. Go ahead.

SILVERMAN: Thank you.

Al: get out of my frame.

As some of you may know, I support Bernie Sanders and the movement behind him. And Bernie's already succeeded in so many ways. He proved that Citizens United is, in fact, not a necessary evil. And, by the way: "Citizens United," isn't that such a beautiful name for something that means "Billionaires Buying Politicians"? Good lord. Rails against the very spirit of our democracy. And I'm very glad that Hillary has vowed to overturn it.

Not only did Bernie wake us up: he made us understand what is possible, and what we deserve. You know: my shrink says, "We don't get what we want. We get what we think we deserve." And Bernie showed us that all of America's citizens deserve quality health care and education, not just the wealthy elite. I know: it sounds so obvious. Who wouldn't agree with that? But, uh, yet it's not what's been happening.

You know: I happen to believe the crazy notion that people who maybe weren't born with the same opportunities as you and me should be given the same opportunities as you and me. And all it takes to accomplish this is...everyone. Is all of us. Or as a pretty kick-ass woman once said: it takes a village."

This Democratic primary was exemplary. No name-calling; no comments about the size of candidates' hands or ethnicity or how much they sweat, or if they go to the bathroom. Inside secret: they do. That stuff is for third-graders. Come on. That's like major arrested development stuff. That's: "I'm still emotionally four and calling people names from my gold-encrusted sandbox because I was given money instead of human touch or coping tools" stuff.

But I digress. (I've just been told to stretch).

Hillary heard the passion of the people &ndahs; the people behind Bernie – and brought those passions into the Party's platform, and that – that – is the process of democracy at its very best. And it's very cool to see.

Hillary is our Democratic nominee, and I will proudly vote for her. It's so inspiring– it's so inspiring– just a few years ago, she was a secretary, and now she's going to be President. I mean: come on. She's like the only person ever to be overqualified for a job as the President.

So I tell you this: I will vote for Hillary with gusto, as I– as I continue to be inspired and moved to action by the ideals set forth by Bernie, who will never stop fighting for us. I am proud to be a part of Bernie's movement, and a vital part of that movement is making absolutely sure that Hillary Clinton is our next President of the United States.

Booya.

Bababooey.

FRANKEN: Gee: that was– that was pretty good, Sarah. Um– Hillary. Hillary.

SILVERMAN: Unity. Unity.

FRANKEN: Hillary.

SILVERMAN: Unity. The Bernie– can I just say, to the Bernie-or-Bust people: you're being ridiculous.

They told us to stretch, so I figured I'd add that. You made me cut of my speech, and now we have to stretch! Oh, I have so much I want to say.

FRANKEN: Well, okay: we– you know– what– listen to that&ndahs; listen to that– listen to what you did. This is a comedian. This is the power of comedy.

SILVERMAN: Thank god they can fix this in post.

FRANKEN: You know– we, um– we have been– I want to thank you, because Sarah and I have been asked to stretch, because, um– we are about to introduce someone that we're both huge fans of. How're we doing guys? We close? Well, we'll see.

You know, Sarah: the– what I love about us both being here is that, you know– you– you're– you know, it's like we're a bridge. A bridge.

SILVERMAN: How do you figure that, Al? How do you figure that we're a bridge?

FRANKEN: Well, uh– you were for Bernie...

SILVERMAN: Right.

FRANKEN: I'm for Hillary. So we are like– like a bridge...over troubled...

SILVERMAN: Oh, good lord.

Are they ready?

Ladies and gentlemen: Mister Paul Simon!